People I talk to often say ‘but I am not really intelligent’, my response is emotional intelligence can be learned through everyday skills, you do not need a degree to have emotional intelligence.
Emotional intelligence is about recognising your own feelings and those of others, in order that you can motivate yourself. You need to manage your emotions within yourself and in your relationships.
So where to start:
Know yourself – understand how your emotions impact on your own performance and how your strengths and weaknesses impact on others, use this to guide your decision making. You need to be able to manage them, be resilient and avoid how you feel impacting on others. Be willing to admit when you are wrong.
Understand others – appreciate things from others perspectives, actively listen to them; understand their point of view and how they feel and accept that you will not always be right.
Build relationships – express care and concern to others, collaborate and develop genuine relationships. Don’t run away from conflict, resolve it quickly and keep your own feelings and emotions in check. When the going gets tough, don’t let others drag you down to their level.
Be inspirational – create a positive work environment, be flexible, understand and respond to other peoples ‘why’, have energy and be a person that others want to spend time with. Demonstrate courage and speak up when others are not.
Be authentic – be true to yourself, live out your intentions and high personal values and those of your organisation. Be accountable for your actions and those of your team. Be the best you can be every day.
In essence emotional intelligence is very much about treating others as you would wish to be treated yourself!
Good luck with becoming an exceptional manager.