Why then wait until January to change the way we do things, what is to stop us taking time out now away from the Christmas chaos to decide what we need to do differently in 2016?

So how do we approach this task in a way that will help what matters to happen? If this is going to work we will need to enter the New Year in a way that we haven’t before, let’s face it a part of us knows that we have been here before trying to do things different in a new year and nothing has changed, and nothing does change overnight.  But so long as we recognise first why we are doing what we are doing and what the benefits will be to us personally we will have a greater chance of achieving them.

All too often we consider ‘what’ we want to achieve and rush off with great enthusiasm, this gets crushed at the first hurdle and we get that feeling of failure. What is missing is the ‘why’ and clearly understanding ‘what is in it for us’ by getting clear on the why we want something to change will help us sustain momentum when we hit those inevitable hurdles. It will help us to remain focussed on the outcome we want and the difference that will make to us personally.

‘Why’ is a small word that makes the big difference when you have that clarity!

People I talk to often say ‘but I am not really intelligent’, my response is emotional intelligence can be learned through everyday skills, you do not need a degree to have emotional intelligence.

Emotional intelligence is about recognising your own feelings and those of others, in order that you can motivate yourself. You need to manage your emotions within yourself and in your relationships.

So where to start:

Know yourself – understand how your emotions impact on your own performance and how your strengths and weaknesses impact on others, use this to guide your decision making. You need to be able to manage them, be resilient and avoid how you feel impacting on others. Be willing to admit when you are wrong.

Understand others – appreciate things from others perspectives, actively listen to them; understand their point of view and how they feel and accept that you will not always be right.

Build relationships – express care and concern to others, collaborate and develop genuine relationships. Don’t run away from conflict, resolve it quickly and keep your own feelings and emotions in check. When the going gets tough, don’t let others drag you down to their level.

Be inspirational – create a positive work environment, be flexible, understand and respond to other peoples ‘why’, have energy and be a person that others want to spend time with. Demonstrate courage and speak up when others are not.

Be authentic – be true to yourself, live out your intentions and high personal values and those of your organisation. Be accountable for your actions and those of your team. Be the best you can be every day.

In essence emotional intelligence is very much about treating others as you would wish to be treated yourself!

Good luck with becoming an exceptional manager.

Viewed by many and loved by most

For those who viewed our eyes saw many treats
We all remained firmly in our seats
With great admiration some would watch on
Others saying next year I could be the one 

For many they will have enjoyed the show
I too enjoyed it but looked on with L & D know
Many today have picked up on the Nadiya’s quote
For others it may have been a little remote

For Nadiya she has actually won twice
Which for me is something ever so nice?
She started the show with low self-belief
After each small victory you could see the relief 

Like Nadiya so many other people are held back
Because of the self-belief they lack
They need to know that they too can do it
Remove the boundaries that prevent them making it

So today as it is National Poetry Day
I am asking you all to help in some special way
If you know someone with low self-belief
Please be a giver and not a thief

Help them achieve small confidence building wins
Encourage them to do those little things
This will enable them to say ‘I am never going to put boundaries on myself ever again’
Who know they may go onto enjoy the same fame

Here’s my top 10 – they definitely work I know, because I regularly use them!

1. Go outside get some fresh air for at least 20 minutes – your emails can wait and the change of scenery will make you more alert
2. Sit up straight – consider your posture, are you sitting the correct distance from your key board and monitor
3. Spray a citrus room spray around your work area – it is refreshing and energising
4. Drink more water – there are so many studies to prove this is the right thing to do so why do people still not drink enough?!
5. Do something that you find interesting – especially after lunch when we can all hit a low
6. Breath – when we are concentrating or feel stressed we often hold our breath without realising – take some deep breaths, it gets the blood pumping and boosts your energy
7. Find a reason to laugh – watch a funny video at lunch time, listen to a comedy pod cast – whatever makes you happy as when we laugh we do feel energised
8. Avoid a large intake of carbohydrates at lunch time – this time of the year there are many reasons to be having more than your five a day
9. Open the window – not always possible but if you can it’s a must
10. Eat at regular intervals – it sustains your energy levels

When we ask ourselves ‘what’s in it for me’ all too often we overlook the fact that by doing so we are questioning and establishing our own levels of personal motivation.  It gives us the reason we are doing what we do, why we get up in the morning, why we do the job we do, why we complete specific projects and tasks.

It’s the real ‘why’ behind our decisions and the reason why some people achieve job satisfaction and others don’t.  So why then are so many people unhappy with their jobs?

In my opinion it is because we are not examining what is really in it for us. By reframing ‘why’ we are doing things we start to achieve more because it helps us to progress towards or away from a situation, barriers that were there before disappear because we are more focused, we become happier at work and home because we are achieving what we want to achieve.

It sounds really simple when you put it like this and that is because it is simple it just needs the time to think about it and make the mindset shift.

Definitely a worthwhile approach for ourselves, and others who appear unhappy and demotivated.

I am sure we have all had these uncomfortable moments and whilst we may advocate these skills perhaps it is time to brush up on what active listening really means to ourselves and others.

Challenge yourself – are you really good at listening?  You may have got out of the habit because you are really busy if this is the case it will take some practise.  Concentrate really hard, focus on the words that are actually being said and to quote Stephen R. Covey ‘Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply’ avoid jumping ahead with the answer you will give.

Become more curious and open minded, accept that others may have a great idea that you could easily miss through a lack of attention. Try to see the world from their shoes – what they are saying is important to them, imagine yourself in their situation. Learn to learn from others stay ‘fully in the moment’.  After they finish talking to you let them know you were listening by mentioning the key points, ask for clarity where needed and get them to commit to next steps.

If you really actively listening it will result in you both hearing the same things and it will develop mutual trust and loyalty.

April the 30^th is ‘National Honesty Day’ it was created in the early 1990s by M. Hirsh Goldberg, he chose the last day of April since the first of the month ‘April Fools’ celebrates falsehoods. The day is all about telling the truth, sharing opinions, thoughts and perspectives, anyone participating should be able to ask a question and the opposing person with knowledge of the day will answer truthfully.

Reading about this got me thinking about the impact of people not telling the truth in the workplace.  You will have experienced it yourself where you see people not delivering performance feedback, letting unacceptable behaviour go rather than addressing it or saying that everything is ok and then moaning behind the persons back.

I do not have any magical financial calculations however what I am convinced of is that if people told the truth about performance issues, unacceptable behaviour or how they were feeling we would most definitely all save ourselves the time and money it takes to resolve the things that are unsaid.  I do not think in most cases that it is people being deliberately dishonest perhaps its more about knowing how to do it in an unemotional way that ensures the message does not get lost in translation.

If you know anyone who maybe struggling to share the truth with others suggest they use the simple process of EEC it is relevant and useful for both constructive and good feedback which should also not be forgotten.

Hope this helps your people save themselves and your organisation time and money.

Despite it being only an hour the new light-dark cycle perversely works against our body clock, our brain knows the time on the clock has changed however research tells us that getting less sunlight in the morning and more in the evening results in a short term lack of productivity.

You can avoid the negative impact of losing the hour by taking some simple steps:

• 27th March go to bed 45 minutes earlier
• Avoid alcohol this weekend!
• Get out into the sunlight on the 28th to help your body clock reset
• Avoid early morning activities on the 28^th and 29^th

Hope as a result your feelings about the change are purely positive!

How often do you log into your email and feel overwhelmed by the number dropping in?  So many – that at times when you look at your screen you get a sinking feeling? 

Maze research revealed that on average a Middle Manager receives 126 emails a day.  From those Managers I have talked to they are allowing their emails to unconsciously interrupt their working day, I experienced something similar until I took control of the situation and grew myself some time.

The changes were simple; some one offs however collectively they have de-cluttered my inbox. 

• If you consider an email spam – don’t just add it to junk unsubscribe its more final, your IT team will also prefer you to do this as they often take up valuable server space
• If you have been copied into emails by mistake or because someone felt you should be and you do not want to be in the email circulation – respond politely and ask them to remove you from the circulation list
• If you receive news letters or regular updates that realistically you don’t get chance to read – avoid adding them to a folder unsubscribe, if you need the resource later it will no doubt be available on line  
• Avoid too many sub folders – it is tempting to create them to keep information which you  think we may need to refer back to, look at what you already have and consider ‘do I really need it’ if not stop repeating the habit that clutters up your mind
• How many of your current emails are a result of your own emailing rather than talking to someone, does it really save time to email, how many emails does it take to say the same thing.  We criticise younger people for not talking however I politely suggest it is learned behaviour
• Block out time each day to respond and take action, not surprisingly if you don’t your inbox will just get bigger and after all it is good manners
• Deal with any challenging emails first – take control, avoid procrastination
• Set yourself a maximum number of emails you will allow in your inbox – a company I know has the  rule – you can only have in your inbox what you can see on the screen of your desk top or laptop – around 30 emails tough but imagine how you would feel

It’s not difficult give it a try and enjoy the extra time you will grow!

For years now I have observed those who receive a gift, flowers or a card on Valentines Day and then there are those I see who have received nothing.  I see sadness in their eyes, it maybe that they are thinking of a love lost or someone they love who has passed away however it maybe that they are feeling like the victim on a day when others are feeling on top of the world.

This year I have decided to take a different approach as it saddens me to see others unhappy – Valentines Day does not have to be just about couples it can be a time when you show your team just how much you love them for the support and the good job they do for you every day.

On Friday 14^th February why don’t you buy chocolates and flowers for your team share some love, and at the same time ensure that those who would have otherwise felt excluded feel included and loved.

Happy Valentines Day